Starseeds: Current Soul Contracts are Ending
and a story on how I lost my spirit guides
I had a moment the other day where I was listening to a podcast about the ‘dangers’ of using tarot and astrology to navigate your life — and the ‘worries’ the hosts had about using an external system to help you navigate your life.
…..It got me thinking.
Using cards and following astrology — generally tuning into the patterns of what’s going out out there is my life’s work. I took a breath, adopted a neutral perspective, and continued to listen — realizing that the two hosts were essentially talking about the dangers of constantly looking outside ourselves — to various systems and things that will give us answers instead of looking inside ourselves.
Well, yes. That is a very good point.
Needlessly searching for answers outside ourselves isn’t really going to work longterm. But most of my (beautiful, lovely!) readers already know how to look inside themselves. They’re already doing the work. And when they get stuck, we have a session, (Book here if you need one) and things continue to bounce along. I still do this with my own mentor, whom I’ve been working with for over seven years. I tune into myself, go as far as I can, and when I get stuck — or I have a question I keep mulling over and over — we have a session.
That’s what we’re here to do.
Help each other get unstuck.
But what happens when the answers don’t come? What happens when you’ve been trying your damnedest to listen forever and it feels like nothing changes?
What happens when your intuition… dies?
Contract Closure
*Keep in mind — that because my role in this life is to serve as an educator and bridge for starseeds and new Earth — my timelines tend to look a little bit different. Please, *no* comparing ‘when’ things have happened on your own journeys and with your own timelines!
Impending Death
In 2019, my intuition died. I completely lost the ability to feel into what felt right, what step I should take next, and how to navigate my path here on earth. I felt like I’d suddenly had the umbilical cord of intuition cut — leaving me stranded here on Earth to walk amongst the chaso forever. My spirit, additionally, decided it was taking a vacation and took and left my body. It just …. left.
I had always, always, always been driven by Spirit. I’d always been pushed by an energy to go this way, or that way, and even if it didn’t always (or ever) make sense or even if I didn’t bothering listening to it, it was always there.
In 2019, I unlocked a plethora of suppressed memories of CSA* I’d endured as a child.
*CSA: Childhood Sexual Abuse
After that event, in which I walked into a trailer during a bush party (a common fiesta for Canadian treeplanters), in which the smell of the room had the same smell as the space in which the abuse had occured.
That night, a very, very large part of me died.
And the rest?
Took an extended hiatus of a vacation.
I spent the next year not knowing who I was — not being able to go out in public, struggling to go to the grocery store and generally being in deep fear of all men. It was not pretty.
Out of desperation, I went to an Earth Shaman to help me heal. Instead of healing me, she explained to me that I was living “too in the clouds” (i.e, conencted to my galactic source), and that I needed to ‘accept’ being here on Earth. (At the time, I did not want to be here). I received the healing, went home, and went to bed.
The next day, in the depths and glory of all of my misery, I woke up in my one-bedroom apartment that sat directly enroute to the city’s major hospital (cue: constant sirens directly outside my window), and also, quite quaintly, directly under the bridge. It was giving Bridge Troll. Big time.
In that miserable, groundhog day wake-up, I realized one thing: I no longer had access to my guides.
I couldn’t hear a damn thing.
For all my griping about feeling like I’d been ‘dropped off’ on Earth and ‘abandoned’ by my star origins, being a volunteer-visitor on Gaia suddenly felt like a sacred cosmic assignment compared to this.
No guidance.
No connection to any sense of cosmic-anything.
…It was devastating.
Although I spent the next few days in a full-blown panic, I was able to get my mentor to reconnect with me with own guidance.
I spent the rest of the winter studying the Dark. I dove into myth, lore, and research on the Dark goddesses and deities and learned to navigate my world as I walked on the bottom of the silent, silent sea. I gained skills I now teach to others, and completed a shamanic-trance journey into the underworld which I truthfully forgot to come out of (a gentle reminder of why it’s so important to finish ceremony)!
Contract Wrap-UP
Although it felt totally horrible at the time, and I felt like I had not only lost part of who I was but truly, all of who I was — that my soul, in some way, had died and I was now walking in the world in a post-apocalyptic kind of way — what I didn’t realize at the time was that I had completed a contract of mine.
Despite the noise being spewed out there in the world, it has come to my understanding (through other, more senior participants on this LOVE-EARTH project), that humanity and Earth is actually ahead of shedule when it comes to the ascension process. It means that things that were supposed to take us an entire lifetime to complete for our soul contracts are being completed now, and early.
What this means for many of us, in that case — especially those of you who feel like you have been suffering and are at your wits end for this Life, consider this:
What if the soul contract you were asked to fulfill is indeed wrapping up? What if the particular mission you were given — or the way in which is was supposed to play out, is ending?
What if you had the opportunity to choose again?
This is, truthfully, where most beautiful, connected, talented starseeds choose to give up. They’re so goddamn pissed off about the hand they were dealt so far, that the idea of stepping into a new contract — a new phase of life (the unknown), is completely unfathomable.
It takes courage to be here, loved ones.
It takes a willingness to try again, and again, and to grit your teeth and roar like an animal while your heart goes from dormant to open.
It takes wild courage to live with your heart, when the expiring energies would have you give up and surrender.
This journey is not for the faint of heart.
But I deeply, deeply, believe in you.
Grounding Lessons
One of the deepest lessons I took away from the guide-loss experience was that sometimes, during this mosey around the planet in these funny bodies that feel so much, we need to take some time and make life real simple.
It may feel a frustrating, or even mundane, but there is deep value in being able to wander around earth and notice the flowers; the sky; the people.
If we detach from what we’ve been programmed to believe about life — that we’re meant to be bustling about like little honey bees in an eternal summer, and instead begin to see that a death during this journey may actually bring us the rest, respite and silence our souls have been craving — and that we may even get a new start once the doors start to open again on the world, living simply on Earth for a bit starts to feel more like a vipassana than a life-sentence.
There are soul contracts that are ending, loved ones. There are some of you who are being called to step out of suffering and into a new way of being — completely unrecognizable from your former self. There are some of you who are being asked to honour the part of you that no longer feels they are there — and to lay them to rest with peace and gentle reverence.
Some of you are going to have to choose.
You may have been on this roller coaster of challenge for as long as you can remember, and you don’t know how to get off simply because you have never known any other way. You must choose, dear one, if you want peace.
You must choose if you want to live outside the realm of the cyclical suffeirng and honour that this contract in your life is indeed over and you are free to step away.
You are not crazy. You are not alone in this journey. But when it comes to the next beginning, the choice is yours.
I am simply the messenger.
If you feel you need a helping hand with this process, you can always book a session with me here.
Xo , Always,
❤ Kate
GROUP PROGRAM ANNOUNCEMENT!!!
For 6 weeks staring Sept 22 at 6pm EST, we’ll be meeting online to talk energy updates, learn skills to help balance & strengthen your energy, and connect to other starseeds.
Cost is $25 per class, and will run for 6 weeks.
BOOK HERE: The Starseed Collective
Starts in 3 weeks!!
