Holy Discomfort

What my guides are saying about the current collective (scattered) energy

Holy discomfort!!

It seems like we’re certainly going through a push energetically right now that has us feeling all types of ways.

Bodies are feeling weird, schedules are not going according to plan, and situations waiting for solutions are finding themselves in a holding space with no signs of solutions yet.

As for me, I got up this morning, with my energy sitting way outside my body. I had plans to meet a friend mid-morning, who I hadn’t heard from and was waiting for a check-in.

I decided it would feel best to move my body and went outside to get into the fresh air.

Upon my return, I tried calling my friend (with no answer), and communicated to someone else who was supposed to come pick up an item from Facebook marketplace. Their communication was spotty too, and I ended up waiting around for an extra hour only to have the folks who came to pick up the item (it was furniture) decide they would have to return tomorrow with more help.

Annoyed, but grateful they would still be taking the item, I left to get out of the house. Along the way, I heard back from my friend, who hadn’t realized the it was a pro-d day for her kid’s school and she wouldn be tied up, unable to make our plans. I decided instead to run errands and settle in at one of my favourite outdoor locations to continue working on my book edits with plans to go to the post office and the hardware store along the way.

We live in a small town, and I took the back route to get to the hardware store, forgetting that my shortcut would cause me to miss the post office entirely — so I would have to double back. As I was realizing this, I accidentally drove past the entrance to the hardware store and had to continue down the highway until I could turn back and hit it from the other side.

I found what I needed at the hardware store, but accidentally left with two of the same item after not realizing I had put one in my pocket to keep my hands free while I was picking up something else. On my way to the post office, I realized I would have to turn around and go back to the hardware store, again.

At the post office, the clerk informed me that the item I had been told was delivered (which I had been awaiting since September) accidentally got delivered to the next town over, and I would have to drive into town tomorrow and pick it up from their location instead.

I left the post office, feeling increasingly frustrated, all the while feeling like time was compressing. Time! it felt like it had a hold on me today, pushing and pulling me at its whims. I returned to the hardware store, where the stone-faced employee received my sheepish, returning-attempt-at-honesty with a neutral expression. I had hoped to make him laugh, or at least smile!

I got back into my car after the second hardware store trip, feeling increasingly ungrounded and unable to describe the uncomfortable energy pulsing through my body. I had meditated that morning, had gone for a run, and had eaten a good breakfast. I’m at the beginning of my lunar cycle, and so my hormones are relatively low and chill during this phase. I’ve been very tuned inwards lately and felt there was no reason for why I should feel some incredibly uncomfortable and unbalanced.

Surrendering to the feeling of “not knowing why”, I felt a few tears spring to my eyes as I allowed the confusion to take over. Before long, however, during my self-pity cry, I felt my phone ring in my pocket. It was my ex-partner calling: a deep soul mate with whom we had tried to make things work more than once since 2017. We live in the same town, and I’m beyond grateful to have him in my life. Synchronistically, I had just been talking about him this morning after an old post on social media popped up from when we were together.

The call was a loving offering to help me pick up a piano I was due to collect in a town a few hours drive away — he was calling to tell me he was already planning on going, and I could stay at home and keep my life organized this week without having to drive the 8 hours round-trip to pick up the instrument.

So things weren’t going badly…. Just… oddly.

After my mess around town, I finally arrived at the beach where I had planned to do my book edits — only to realize I had forgotten to put on my vest and hat when I left the house — and simply would be much too cold trying to sit still on a windy, North American beach in November.

At this point, I felt defeated. I needed help. I had no idea what was happening and felt like I was at the total mercy of the universe, running around like a chicken with no sense of time or direction.

I picked up my tea, and my notebook, and headed into the forest — hatless, vestless, in search of answers.

After stumbling around in the forest for a while, I found a tree that looked welcoming enough for me to lean on and talk to it. I trampled a bit more through the forest, put my thermos and journal down, and climbed up the roots of the tree so I could lean against it with my back against its trunk.

Immediately, I could feel where energy pulsing through my body. I tuned into my guides, the energy of the forest, and the wisdom of the tree as I asked for help and an explanation of what was going on.

This was what came thru:

My child, how much fear I can feel in your body! You are working much too hard to come to a conclusion that is not yet ready to be revealed. You are trying to make the rains come before the water is ready, the flowers bloom before their stalks have grown. This is not a period for answers. You are in a liminal space — what we have just entered is a collective period of waiting. Your fear about the future is keeping you in discomfort at this time and from this place.

What are you afraid to let go of as you move into the unknown?

What are you afraid to leave behind?

More importantly, child, what are you afraid to move towards?

Heading directly into the unknown with confidence is the only way to move in the direction of your dreams. You have been wishing this for a long time, have you not?

The time for releasing all scaffolds and training wheels is now. There is no other way forward other than to dive directly into the darkness of what you do not know is coming.

Relax into this. Your resistance only creates more tension in your body, which in turn will tire you out.

You need your strength. Trust in the darkness of the unknown. It means your greatest dreams are waiting for you.

I sighed, leaning against the tree.

The guidance was true, as usual — I was clinging to my known reality (which is at a current state of ‘fine’, but not in full alignment with my dreams and desires) — too afraid to let go and move into the darkness that has been calling me. Instead of trying to meticulously plan each day, I needed to move into a space of getting chummy with the unknown. Move towards it. Make friends with it. Get to know its edges and depth.

When I opened my eyes, accepting of where I had been resisting and where I needed to go (into nothingness and the expansive space of letting go), I was shocked at the colours of the forest I hadn’t noticed on my way in.

Everything felt … sharper.

I still felt way out of my body and at the mercy of the whisking, whimsical energies of the day as I left the forest. But I had a much stronger understanding of where I needed to go to help myself move forwards.

I needed to surrender entirely to the process at hand, and stop trying to figure everything out as I went.

Things were not going to reveal themselves mid-process.

I had to swim, dance, and push into the unnerving, uncomfortable darkness of the unknown if I wanted my dreams to come true.

*************

Is this how you’re feeling lately?

Let me know in the comments below.

And, if this article resonated, check out the most recent energy forecast I posted about the second half of November and the first half of December.

You’re not alone out there!

As always, with love and blessings,

Indigo Kate